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  4. The name is Stanley Steamer, most identifiable by my ginger Mississippi Mud Flap, my Louisiana Purchase, that European Back Flap, my Florida Follicle Fountain, my Louisiana Lamp Shade, my silky smooth lions mane blowing in the wind; even when it’s not windy. I keep it draped over my powerful shoulders like an alpha wolf’s hide in prehistoric times, representing not only my class but also my fertility and self worth. This isn’t a haircut as much as it is a neck garnish, like a shiny Christmas Ornament but for my beautiful head, you need to respect it, AND NO YOU CANNOT TOUCH IT! I will however give you hair care tips on how to maintain your own sexy head crop/ follicle forest, for a small fee tbd.
    Grand Theft Auto V Screenshot 2020.07.15 - 10.04.49.81.png
    I was raised by my Grand Momma, she was a beautiful, church-going woman with a rich history of shooting dice after confession, gangster rapping, gang banging, steel working and gardening. She could spit a flow about cooking rocks, off-the-top while cultivating her cucumbers and not even realize she did it. I love this woman and there is a ZERO TOLERANCE policy when it comes to her, unless you’re complimenting about what kind of man she raised, keep her out your mouth or I’ll fucking cut you. Period.
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    Only my Gramma can call me Stan, so let’s keep it formal and you call me Stanley, pronounced STAN-LEE. Catch me scouting for local hip hop talents at the ER or helping new residents by giving them rides to the DMV, cause that’s what kind of man my Gramma raised. In my free time I like to read ancient sand script poetry and study hand-to-hand combat books. So let that be a warning, I’ll twist my tongue into shapes you’ve never even seen outside of the DMT universe and steal your girl with it and if you try to stop me.. my hand to hand skills are unmatched, basically Delta Force caliber, just ask about me.
    Grand Theft Auto V Screenshot 2020.07.15 - 10.22.04.72.png
    I have no affiliations besides being affiliated with gorgeousness and perfection. With that said, you cannot come around me with the same do... there is only room for one Neck Skirt in this Hair-rritory and that’s mine. This isn’t just hair, it’s a lifestyle, an embodiment of soul and class. Anyone can grow hair, hell my gramma had braids on her back, but only a real man, a tiger-man can have this kind of Gator-Cape, and when I turn my head fast, you’ll hear a whipping sound and you should look out. I ain’t playin; mine will bite a newborn baby at a Walgreens, yours would simply be a stuffed toy version of the real thing that you get while waiting in line a checkout for $9.99. Just don’t do it.

    You wanna know more, then come find me. I’ll be happy to go pet some kittens or small animals with you, we can go buy cologne and I’ll give you tips on a proper fragrance to get you a mate.

    Stay Silky,
    Stanley

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